"Rules of Life" joke

1. Disregard all nonessential numbers. These include age, weight and height.

(Drink lots of beer)

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. If you really need a grouch, there are probably family members that fill that need.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever Just never let the brain idle.

(Drink lots of beer)

4. Enjoy the simple things. Remember - when you were young, that's all you could afford. When you were in college, that's all that you could afford. When you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford!

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked anywhere by your distinctive laughter.

(Drink lots of beer)

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

(Drink lots of beer)

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but forget the guilt trips!

(Drink lots of beer)

10. At every opportunity, tell the people you love that you love them.

Remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And (Drink lots of beer)