"Santa Claus Won't Come If Randy Doesn't Clean Up" joke

Santa Claus, the corpulent spreader of tidings and good cheer,
may not come this year if Randy doesn't clean up the mess he
made, according to highly placed sources close to mommy and daddy.
"First he scattered G. I. Joes to and fro and now there's a Weeble
village occupying our den. When will it end!?" said Randy's
exasperated mother.
"Santa only visits good boys and girls, and right now, Randy is
only one discarded Mr. Potatohead away from bad," daddy added.
Claus, whose belly reportedly shakes like a bowl full of jelly,
has earned widespread praise for his centuries-old tradition of
delivering toys to well-behaving Christian children around the
world.
A decision not to come this year would mark the first major
interruption of Claus's deliveries since a bloody 1982 knife fight
left the elderly Claus clinging to life and two reindeer indicted
for assault.
Authorities here have stressed that Jews, Muslims, Buddhists and
other children of non-Christian religions will be unaffected by
any decision.