"Secrets Of The Music Biz 2" joke

8. The most powerful force in the universe is Andrew Lloyd Webber.
9. The one thing that unites all non-musicians, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, they all have below-average musical taste.
10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your musical talent. That time is age 11.
11. There is a very fine line between "arranging" and "mental illness."
12. People who want you to listen to their music almost never want to listen to yours.
13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates music for television dramas. When TV composers need a new dramatic cue, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible musical themes, it spits out, "ONE LONG LOW SCARY NOTE ON A SYNTHESIZER, " and this becomes the cue. The next time they need a cue, the computer spits out, "TWO LONG SCARY NOTES ON A SYNTHESIZER." And so on, ad infinitum. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers - - along with TV producers and entertainment lawyers.
14. No group singer is normal.
15. At least once per year, Bill Conti will become very excited and announce that: (1) His producers loved the first theme he played for them; (2) They loved the second theme even more than the first; (3) He has never composed anything they didn't love.
16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason composers have not achieved, and never will achieve their full potential, that word would be "copyists."

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