"Secrets of a Happy Marriage" joke

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some
good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in NewYork.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I
haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread
maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit
down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight,
but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
9. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"