"Senior Citizens" joke

This could go in true stories: An 85 year old who had never been to a doctor
before, as he proudly announced, came to the office for a check-up. He thought
it was about time. The doctor (that's me) said,
"What did you do to live so long and
stay so healthy?" He said, "Well, whatever it was, it wasn't listening to the
likes of you!!"
Another one: During my residency, we offered a free Pap smear clinic. Well, a
nurse brought in her elderly mother to have a Pap smear because she had never
had one, or an internal exam for that matter. She had her kids at home
without benefit of medical attention. She was maybe 80. (The daughter was 60
or so.) Well, the daughter held her hand and talked her through the ordeal of
her first pelvic exam just as a mother might with a teenage girl. After it
was over, I said something to lighten things up like, "Now that wasn't so bad
was it?" The old lady said, "No, it wasn't, but I have one question to ask
you." I said, "Shoot." She said, "Does your mother know what you do for a
living?"