"Seven Stages of the Married Cold" joke

Stage 1: Sugar dumpling, I've really been worried
about my baby girl. That's a bad sniffle and there's no telling about
these things with all the strep that's going around. I'm going to put
you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the
food's terrible, but I'm going to bring you dinner every night from
Rosini's. I've got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.
Stage 2: Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of
that cough. I'm going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go
to bed like a good girl just for papa.
Stage 3: Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing
like a little rest when you feel lousy. I'll bring you something. Have
you got any canned soup?
Stage 4: Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've
fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you'd
better lie down.
Stage 5: Why don't you take a couple of aspirins?
Stage 6: If you'd just gargle or something instead
of sitting around barking like a seal all evening!
Stage 7: Would you stop coughing on me?!? Are you
trying to give me pneumonia?!?