"Short bitter-half Joke" joke

My wife and I, we always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days! And then the mud fell off
My wife told me her car wasn't working well - there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.
I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said: "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her: "How about the kitchen?"
My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling: "Am I too late for the garbage?"
"No. Jump In!"
My wife is on a new diet - coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but she can now climb a tree!

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