"Signs It May Be Your Last Day On The Job" joke

You hand an envelope to the bank teller and when she asks, "What's this?" you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in the mail and gave her your mail.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak into his office and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
As a woman enters the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat, ugly, old wench. This one's yours!" Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
You return from a week's vacation only to find that you had actually scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.
You take a *sick* day. When you return to work the next morning your boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing at Rock Creek yesterday?"
You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and scraped knuckles. Your underwear is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

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