"Signs You're No Longer In College" joke

Your salary is less than your tuition.
You now have to pay your own credit card bill.
You go from 130 days of vacation time down to 7.
You keep more food than beer in your fridge.
You haven't watched a soap opera in over a year.
Your car insurance premium goes down.
Your dog is now fed Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.
You refer to college students as kids.
You no longer confuse the 401K plan with the 10K run.
Police don't raid the parties you go to.
You no longer get carded.
Jeans and baseball caps aren't the main focus of your wardrobe.
You have to file your own taxes.
Your parents begin to make casual remarks about grandchildren.
Mac and Cheese is no longer considered a well-balanced diet.
You take an interest in the weather channel.
Adults are comfortable telling sex jokes in front of you.
Your potted plants stay alive.