"Silly dog..." joke

Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was
> Mypenis?
>
> - Mypenis ate my homework.
> - Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
> - Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
> - I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a
> leash.
> - Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
> - Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
> - I love giving Mypenis a bath.
> - At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.
> - Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
> - Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds.
> - Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
> - Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
> - Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
> - I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
> - I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
> - Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
> - I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore.
> He just plays dead.
> - Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next
> door.
> - If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to
> carry.
> - Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
> - Help! I can't find Mypenis!
> - Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.
> - Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
> - Sorry to be driving so fast, officer - I have to take Mypenis to the
> hospital.
> - Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!
> - Watch it or you'll step on Mypenis.
> - When Mypenis behaves well, he gets a bone.
> - Stop kicking Mypenis.
> - When riding in the car, Mypenis enjoys sticking his head out to be
> blown.
> - Mypenis is truly man's best friend.
> - Beware of Mypenis. He's carrying a disease.
> - People say Mypenis looks cute lying down, but even better when
> standing at attention.
> - Mypenis: the crotch-sniffer.
> - There's nothing like a well-trained bitch for Mypenis.
> - I've trained Mypenis to jump through hoops.
> - Mypenis always searches for an open hand under the dinner table.
> - Excuse me - I need a muzzle for Mypenis.
> - Sorry I'm late, but Mypenis kept me up howling all night...