"Some random oneliners" joke

Did you here about the idiot carpenter?
He cut a board three times, It was still to short.

"Pollution" is when you drown one lawyer in a river.
Solution is when you drown all the lawyers in a river.

What did the Jewish Americna Princess women consider the perfect husband?
A guy who's rich, anorexic, and impotent. That way she doesn't have to work, cook, or f*ck.

What's the deal with sex these days? Nobody wants to cuddle. The whores just get out of the car and leave.

Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Because pissing in the bathtub is just gross.

Hey, if we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Said about a pregnant woman " Someone poked fun at her, and she took it seriously! "

Sign on a porta-john: "We're number one in the buisiness of number two."