"Sperm Count" joke
An elderly man went to his doctor's office for a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day the man returned to the doctor and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as when the doctor gave it to him the previous day.
"What happened?" the doctor asked.
"It's like this," the man explained. "First I tried with my left hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with my right hand and still nothing.
Then I asked my wife to help. She tried with her left hand, but, nothing. Then she tried with her right, but still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in and then with them out, and still nothing.
We even called upon the lady next door. She tried with both her hands and her mouth, but nothing."
Shocked, the doctor said, "You asked your neighbor?"
"Yes, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!" replied the old man.
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