"Stand Still, Soldier!" joke

Military training:
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
“You simpleton! ” the officer barked. “Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company? ”
“Yes sir, ” the solder answered apologetically. “But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice and I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say,
“Let’s eat one now and save the other until winter’ -that did it! ”

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