"Stopping A Dog From Humping" joke
A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park when her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rottweiler. The Rottweiler was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rottweiler's butt, and the dog leapt in the air and the action stopped immediately.The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she asked.The little boy said, "That's my dog! He can dish it out, but he can't take it!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.