"Stupid Statements" joke

"Whenever
I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over
the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to
be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff." -Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost
a very important part of your life," -Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson
for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other
part of my body," -Winston Bennett, University
of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one
of the lowest crime rates in the country," -Mayor
Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing
through our papers. We are the president." -Hillary
Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are
doing it." -Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in
Phoenix." -Dan Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may
or may not occur." -Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports
come from overseas."-Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that you passed
away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there
is a change in your circumstances."-Department
of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina