"T-Shirt Messages III" joke

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things.
Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever.
Life is too short. Don't be a jerk.
Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life.
If life is like a bowl of cherries, then I'm living in the pits!
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I'm not going.
Germs attack people where they are weakest. This explains the number of head colds.
It's not just the ups and downs that make life difficult. It's the jerks.
I don't know what I want, but I do know I don't have it.