"TRAVEL AGENT TERMS" joke

- Old world charm means room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
- Tropical means rainy.
- Majestic setting means a long way from town, at end of dirt road.
- Options galore means nothing is included in the price.
- Secluded hideaway means directions to locate unclear.
- Some budget rooms means sorry, already occupied.
- Explore on your own means at your own expense.
- Minutes from... means by plane.
- Romantic means no phone in room.
- Knowledgeable trip hosts. .. They've flown in an airplane before.
- No extra fees means no extras available.
- Bird Watchers Paradise means your car's paint will never be the same.
- Nominal fee means outrageous charge.
- Standard means sub-standard.
- Deluxe means barely standard.
- Superior accommodations means one complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
- All the amenities means two chocolates, two shower caps.
- Just Like Home means no maid service.
- Plush means both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
- Gentle breezes means in hurricane alley.
- Light and airy means no air conditioning.
- Picturesque means theme park nearby.
- 24-hour bar means ice cubes at additional cost (when available).