"The Company Car" joke

- Accelerates at a phenomenal rate.

- Has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.

- Can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.

- The battery, radiator water, oil and tires never have to be checked.

- It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing.

- It needs cleaning less often than private cars.

- The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material.

- Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio.

- It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.

- It is especially sand and waterproof for barbeques and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.