"The Day Off" joke
A doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
"Art, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."
"Yes, sir!" answers Art.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Artie, how was your day?"
Art told him that he had just of three patients. "The first one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX."
"Well done, mate; and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL, sir," says Art.
"Spot on! You're good at this; and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Quick as a flash, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreads her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Cheese and rice, Artie, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
Not enough votes...