"The Facelift" joke
A woman wanted to have a facelift, so she went to see the doctor. "Yes, I can do it, but you'll have to return in a few months for a follow-up," the doctor says.
"I would much rather have it done all at once. I don't want to have to back," she tells him.
Thinking for a few minutes, the doctor tells her, "We do have a new procedure. We put a screw in the top of your head, then any time you happen to see wrinkles reappearing, you turn the screw and it pulls the skin up causing the wrinkles to disappear."
"Perfect," she says, "that's what I'd like to have."
A few months later the woman bursts into the doctor's office. "How's the procedure holding up?" he asks her. "Horrible!" she shouts. "It's the biggest mistake I've ever made."
"What do you mean? What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "What's wrong? Take a look at these bags under my eyes," she screams.
"Ma'am, those are not bags," the doctor says, "those are your breasts. And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to end up with a beard!"
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