"The Funeral" joke
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."
At that point, the proctologist fainted.
What's the difference between greeting royalty and greeting President Clinton?
You only go down on one knee to greet royalty!
While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a cow and began a conversation.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: more...
what do you call a blonde with a single brain cell?
genius
what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
pregnant