"The Hollywood/English Dictionary" joke
VERBS:to schmooze = befriend scumto pitch = grovel shamelesslyto brainstorm = feign preparednessto research = procrastinate indefinitelyto network = spread disinformationto collaborate = argue incessantlyto freelance = collect unemploymentNOUNS:agent = frustrated lawyerlawyer = frustrated producerproducer = frustrated writerwriter = frustrated directordirector = frustrated actoractor = frustrated humanCOMPOUND WORDS:high-concept = low browproduction value = goreentry-level = pays nothinghighly qualified = knows the producernetwork approved = had made them moneyFINANCIAL TERMS:net = something that apparently doesn't existgross = Michael Eisner's salaryback-end = you, if you think you'll ever see itresiduals = braces for the kidsdeferral = don't hold your breathpoints = see "net" or "back-end"COMMON PHRASES:You can trust me = You must be newIt needs some polishing = Change everythingIt shows promise = It stinks rottenIt needs some fine tuning = Change everythingI'd like some input = I want total controlIt needs some honing = Change everythingCall me back next week = Stay out of my lifeIt needs some tightening = Change everythingTry and punch it up = I have no idea what I wantIt needs some streamlining = Change everythingYou'll never work in this town again = I have no power whatsoever
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