"The Idiot's Guide to Scoring Sans Ruffies" joke

Chapter 1: Buy a Corvette (and since you're Asian, hire a driver)
Chapter 2: Keep a collection of Dave Matthews CD's on hand
Chapter 3: Act really interested in her ratty notebook full of poems
Chapter 4: Lose every argument
Chapter 5: Practice sleeping on athe very edge of the bed
Chapter 6: Win the lottery
Chapter 7: Make sure your bed has about 20 pillows for no real reason
Chapter 8: Develop an appreciation for rearranging furniture
Chapter 9: Buy lots of tupperware, candles, and other products from her imaginary store

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