""The Night After Thanksgiving"" joke

'Twas the night after Thanksgivingand all through the nell,not a creature was stirringexcept Tiger on his cell.
Elin was stalking her man to find more.With hopes to catch Cheetah textinghis whore.
The moms' in their nightieslaid down for some sleep,Elin continued her search for that creep.
When all through the house there arose such a clatter!Elin found his golf clubs,his face she would shatter!
Neighbors ran to there windows,tore open the curtain,Holy shit! It was Tigerscreaming and hurtin'!
Barefoot he sprinted barelytouching the grass.Madly hoping and praying to save his own ass.
Help Jesus, help Buddah, Oprah, Tom Cruise!Somebody please save me from theobituary news!
Elin swift on his heels screaming, swinging and crying,I'll kill you, you Cheetah!I knew you were lying!
A smack to his forehead, crunch went his teeth.OMG! Elin! I never did cheat!
Tiger ran to the car,tore open the door.Crash went a window!That's for your whore!
He glanced in the mirror,chill ran through his bones.The sight of white lightening,with shrill, angry moans.
Yanked from the carby inhumane power,The rest was a blur,He'll find out in the morrow.
Sirens came screaming.On arrival they stopped,snoring and dreaming layTiger right where he dropped.

His beautiful angel,silently there at his side,What was he doing, the officers asked.Her blue eyes sparkedas she replied,I really don't know,He just went for a ride.
Silent night...