"The Real Woodstock" joke

10. It`s hosted by Ed McMahon.

9. "Amplifiers" are just enormous dixie cups.

8. Every song contains a plug for Green Giant frozen vegetables.

7. You`re asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you`re being introduced as Bob Dylan.

6. One word: polkas.

5. Guy sitting next to you brought a glove and has caught three foul balls.

4. "Santana" turns out to be a jolly bearded guy with a sackful of presents.

3. They`re playing "May we turn the hose on you, please?" [All night Dave sprayed the crowd which gathers outside for each night`s show with a hose.]

2. You spot Rush Limbaugh stage-diving.

1. The crowd is chanting, "Tito! Tito! Tito!"