"The Stress Diet" joke

Breakfast
1/2 grapefruit
1 piece whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
Lunch
4 oz. lean broiled chicken
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
Herb Tea
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of package of Oreo cookies
1 quart Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 jar Hot Fudge
Dinner
2 loaves Garlic Bread
1 large Mushroom and Pepperoni pizza
1 large pitcher of Root Beer
3 Milky Ways
Entire frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's more...

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A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads' Low Bridge Ahead.'Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks more...

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Knock knock?
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna figure this out?

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