"The benefits of dating older women" joke
An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
An older woman is into free sex. An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent man.
Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her.
Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call.
An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends (and they'll all want to sleep with you!). A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas.
Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial for Pizza Hut take-out.
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