"The missing testicle" joke
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with an onion.
Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doctor asked.
"Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, "I've had some strange side effects."
"What's that?" the doctor asked anxiously.
"Well, every time I pee, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And, every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get turned on."
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