"The redneck test 1/2" joke

You Might Be A Redneck If...
- you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.
- you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.
- your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
- you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.
- you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
- that billboard that says, "Say No To Crack" reminds you to pull up your jeans.
- your wife's hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.
- you go to your family reunions looking for a date.
- you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
- your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
- you've got more than three cousins named "Bubba".
- you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.
- taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
- you've got more than one other named "Darryl".
- you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin' contest.
- on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
- you've ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.
- your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill.
- your child's first words were, "Attention K-Mart shoppers!".
- your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.
- your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.
- you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines.