"The undertaker!" joke
A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a Psychiatrist.
The Psychiatrist gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the door, his wife comes to greet him.
He tells her, "From now on, I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want dinner on the table. Now, get upstairs and lay out some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the guys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The undertaker!!!" she replies.
A woman,being very upset that her husband had just died,paid a visit to the funeral home to view the body before the funeral. Upon seeing the husband laid out in the casket in a brown suit,she remembered he always hated the color brown.She told the undertaker of this and more...
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a more...
Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why? Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to more...
Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he asked. "He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years oder than I am." "Really?" the undertaker said. more...
Then there was the undertaker who signed all his letters with "Eventually
yours."