"The very different children" joke
Two ten-year-old children were exactly opposites: Bill was a die-hard optimist, and Bob a hopeless pessimist.
The mom asked the psychiatrist what to do about Christmas. The doctor told her to buy all the toys she could for Bob and get Bill nothing. In fact, he said just to wrap up some manure for Bill to break down his hopes even more.
Christmas morning, Mom came downstairs and found the twins by the tree. She asked Bob what Santa had brought him.
"A B.B. gun, but I'll probably hit someone in the eye and blind him. And a bicycle, but I'll probably get run over and killed while riding it. And an electric train, but I'll probably electrocute myself," said Bob.
Realizing it wasn't going very well, the mom turned to Bill and asked what he got. "I'm not sure!!" he replied, "I think I got a pony, but I haven't been able to find him yet!!"
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