"There oughta be a Law" joke

O'Reilly's law of the kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Lieberman's law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
Denniston's law: Virtue is its own punishment.
Gold's law: If the shoe fits, its ugly.
Conway's law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person should be fired.
Finster's law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Lynch's law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Muir's law: When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
Glyme's formula for success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
Mason's first law of synergism: The one day you'd sell your birthright for something, birthrights are a glut.
Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Handy guide to modern science:
If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Green's law of debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
Stewart's law of retroaction: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
First rule of history: History doesn't repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
Oliver's law of location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Harrison's postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Thanx to John Hilbe.