"Things I'd Like to Hear, Just Once" joke

From a contractor:
"Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing."
"I think I came in a little high on that estimate."
From my dentist:
"I think you're flossing too much."
"I won't ask you any questions until I take the pick out of your mouth."
From a restaurant server:
"I think it's presumptuous for a waiter to volunteer his name, but since you ask, it's Tim."
"I was slow and inattentive. I cannot accept any tip."
From a store clerk:
"The computerized cash register is down. I'll just add up your purchases with a pencil and paper."
"I'll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers."
"We're sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We'll pick it up at your home and bring you a new one or give you a complete refund, whichever you prefer."
From my doctor:
"Of course I'll come by your house to check on you."
"Give me a call at home over the weekend if you're not feeling better."
"Sure, come on by this afternoon, we'll work you in."
"I'll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test."
"Here, take these samples."
"Don't worry about it, there's no charge for that."
"I recommend you get a second opinion."
From my auto mechanic:
"That part is much less expensive than I thought."
"I've never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do."
"You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."
"It was just a loose wire. No charge."
From my son's preschool teacher:
"Everyone misbehaved today except Michael."
"Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks."
"I wish we had 20 Michaels."