"Timid Little Boy Actor" joke
A 5th grade class was putting on a school play about the Knights of the Roundtable. One little boy was very timid, so the teacher asked him to be responsible for saying just one line in the play. He was to go up to a young girl dressed as a fair maiden and say, "Oh, fair young damsel, I've come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope." The boy practiced the line for hours on end to make sure he would say it perfectly.
But, the night the play was done for the school children and all the parents, the boy became extremely nervous. When the play got to his line, it came out, "Oh, damn young fairsel, I've come to kiss your snatch and fill your hole with soap!"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.