"Top 10 Reasons College Students Are Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break" joke

10. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than
a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.
9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and
stuffing with an ice cream scooper.
8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.
7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to
the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat
with toilet paper.
6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car,
bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for
only four days.
5. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is
from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the
dining hall...in below freezing weather.
4. Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching
here..." you can be entertained by "when your mother was your
age..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to
have brussels sprouts. Hell, all we could afford was the
sprout!"
3. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than
popped in your microwave
2. You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own.
1. You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!