"Top 15 country songs of 2001" joke

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two on you.
If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
How Can I Miss You If you Won't Go Away?
I Liked You Better Before I Knew you So Well.
I Still Miss you, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid she'd win.
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
I'm So Miserable Without You; It's Like Having You here.
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss him.
She Got The Ring, And I Got The Finger.
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
And the No. 1 favorite country song is:
I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, But I've sure woke up with a few.

A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man more...

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A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the more...

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Two dyslexic bank robbers run into a bank shouting: "air in the hands mother stickers, this is a f*** up!"

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