"Top 20 Engineers' Terminology's" joke
1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED- We are still pissing in the wind. 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM- We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION- We know who to blame. 4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED- The only person who understood the thing quit. 9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. 10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT- Forget it! We have enough problems for now. 11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. 12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done. 13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION- I can't wait to hear this bull! 14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS- Come into my office, I'm lonely. 15. ALL NEW- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 16. RUGGED- Too damn heavy to lift! 17. LIGHTWEIGHT- Lighter than RUGGED. 18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT- One finally worked. 19. ENERGY SAVING- Achieved when the power switch is off. 20. LOW MAINTENANCE- Impossible to fix if broken.
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