"Top Ten Failed Slogans" joke

Elite Modeling Agency (tm)
"Where ugly people need not apply."
Pop Rocks (tm)
"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
Wesson (tm) Oil
"Because car oil tastes nasty with chicken."
Hoover (tm)
"No one sucks like Hoover does."
Smith & Wesson (tm)
"Say it with love. Say it with a gun."
Vagasil (tm)
"Because women aren't supposed to scratch in public."
Jessie Helm's campaign slogan
"'Cause you don't know no better."
Hooters (tm)
"Who needs good food?"
Gerber (tm)
"Because a baby will put anything in its mouth."
NyQuil (tm)
"The Nightime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Achy-Head,
Oh-my-God-I-can't-feel-my-legs medicine."