"Top ten signs it's cold in New York" joke
Pickpockets put hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm
You can walk across frozen East River, and see dozens of mob informants beneath you
Taxi drivers wear turbans with ear flaps
Mike Wallace and Morley Safer are constantly hugging
The hookers have on long-johns
Chemicals that make up the Hudson River have congealed into a thick greenish paste
Whenever a bike messenger gets hit by a cab, he shatters into a million tiny pieces
Headline in New York Post: Man Stabbed in Midtown for CBS Earmuffs (Dave dialed up the bank of pay phones down the street from the theater and had two people run down to meet him inside. Because of the cold, he gave one of them a set of earmuffs with the CBS logo on each ear)
You can see people's breath when they yell "Screw you!"
Everyone's wearing pants
There was a Mississippi redneck and a Louisiana Cajun, fishing on their respective sides of the Mississippi river.
Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the Cajun was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, more...