"Translated Car Ads" joke

"Two tone paint work" - Original color and rust.
"One careful owner" - But the other nine were clumsy as anything.
"10,000 trouble-free miles" - Crashed in the last 20 feet.
"Heated rear window" - So you don't get cold hands when push-starting the thing in winter.
"Very clean" - Only washed if and when it rains.
"Lady owner" - The glove box is full of half-used cosmetics.
"Clean interior" - All the rubbish is under the floormats.
"Immobilizer" - The gear shift comes off in your hand.
"Anti-theft device" - I can let you have a Rottweiler cheap.
"Drives beautifully" -... in a straight line; the steering is all over the place.
"Low mileage" - The odometer is on its third time around.
"Full service history" - Charlie in the garage round the corner checked it over last week.
"Economical" - Doesn't use much fuel, as it can't go any faster than 30 mph.