"Trusting Wife" joke
Overcome by passion, a man and his secretary go to his home for an afternoon of fun.
"You don't have to worry," he purrs, "my wife is out of town visiting her mother, so there's no risk."
As things begin to get hot and heavy, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "Stop! We have to stop! I forgot to bring birth control!"
"Oh, that's not a problem," he pants, "I'll get my wife's diaphragm."
After searching for a few minutes, he returns to the bedroom in a fury. "That witch!" he exclaims. "I always knew she didn't trust me. She took the damn thing with her!"
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man more...
A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the more...
Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Dyslexic bank robbery
byTwo dyslexic bank robbers run into a bank shouting: "air in the hands mother stickers, this is a f*** up!"