"Twelve Step Internet Recovery Program" joke

I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.
I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
I will get dressed before noon.
I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
I will read a book…if I still remember how.
I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime … and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife.
As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.
“I’m sorry, ” the clerk said. “This man just ordered our last bunch. ” The desperate customer turned to me and begged, “May I please have those roses? ”
“What happened? ” I asked. “Did you forget your wedding anniversary? ”
“It’s even worse than that, ” he confided. “I crashed my wife’s hard drive! ”