"Ulta-Pulta Definitions" joke

Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gets her master's.
Politician: Someone who chose politics because he discovered it to be the most promising of all careers -and he was always good at making promises.
Doctor. A person who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.
Shaving: An exercise that is performed on the face from time to time to get rid of the excess blood that gets accumulated there.
Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a woman who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.
Cheat: A person for whom, when he borrows money, it's not only against his principle to pay interest, but also against his interest to pay the principle.

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