"Universal excuse form." joke
The Universal Excuse Form is designed to get you out of the trouble that you may have encountered. Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and use it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be!========================================================Deara) Momb) Dadc) love of my lifed) Assistant Principale) Local Police Chief, f) Near & dear friendWords cannot begin to express how sorry I am that youra) Carb) Housec) Petd) Espresso makere) Left armf) Snow Mobilewas severely damaged by mya) infantileb) puerilec) ineptd) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistice) woefully under appreciated prank.How could I have known that thea) carb) jet skic) large helium balloond) rodent driven sledgee) Zambonif) Ski DooI was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of youra) houseb) wifec) Mistressd) Cub Scout troope) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torchf) priceless collection of Rolling Rock beer cans, you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability toa) imagineb) fathomc) comprehendd) appreciatee) pay forand I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights toa) hate meb) sue mec) spank med) take my firstborne) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pondf) just shoot mebut I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joking around ata) schoolb) workc) churchd) the bowling alleye) the municipal jailand to remember that I am first and foremost youra) friendb) childc) siblingd) lease co-signere) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant.I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one thata) was so stupidb) was so sillyc) would have been funny if it workedd) you would have done, if you had thought of it firste) I'm going to use again on someone else.Sincerely, Me
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