"Unlocked crap" joke
Upon retiring, a couple wanted to move from the city and live a country life-style.
They went house hunting in the most secluded area they could find. One listing was a beautiful cottage home being sold by the owner, and they decided to check it out.
They were shown the house with its 2 bedrooms and den, kitchen w/breakfast nook, parlor and dining room. When the tour was done, the woman whispered something to her husband, and they both turned back to the owner.
The husband mentioned not seeing a bathroom. The owner then said, "Oh, yes, walk this way"...
They left the house through the back door and went down a winding walkway about 50 yards.
There, at the end of the walk was an outhouse... It was shabby looking, roof shingles missing, paint totally faded, the door had only one hinge and was hanging oddly, and in the middle of the floor was a bucket.
The woman was shocked at the sight and said to the owner, "My goodness, that looks terrible, so run down. And the door has no lock."
To which the owner replied... "Yanno, Ma'am, in all my years living here, no one has ever stolen my bucket!"
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