"Useful Work Phrases" joke

How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time, to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
I'm really easy to get along with, once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable... It must be time to up my medication.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.