"Very Proper Englishman" joke
One of our favorite bartenders told us about a very proper Englishman who came into his place a couple of weeks ago. The fellow sat down at the bar, but didn't order. The bartender, an unusually friendly guy, asked him if he couldn't fix him a drink, on the house.
The Englishman shook his head. "Tried liquor once," he said. "Didn't like it."
The bartender then offered the Englishman a cigarette.
"No thank you," he said. "Tried tobacco once. Didn't like it."
Still trying to be friendly, the bartender asked the Englishman if he would like to join a couple of friends seated at the bar in a few hands of poker.
The Englishman shook his head. "Tried gambling once. Didn't like it. I wouldn't be sitting in this place at all, but I promised my son I would meet him here."
"I see," said the bartender. "Your only child, I assume."
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