"Viruses you might catch" joke

THE CLINTON Virus...(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.)
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus...(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus...(Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then emails your best friends about what it did).
THE RONALD REAGAN virus...(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
THE MIKE TYSON virus...(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus... (Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200.)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus...(Deletes all old files)
THE PROZAC virus...(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus...(Only attacks minor files)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus...(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back) and last but not least...
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)