"Visualize Using Your Turn" joke

Forget about World Peace... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you`re unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekasion.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Be nice to your kids. They`ll choose your nursing home.
Three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can`t.
Why is `abbreviation` such a long word?
Diplomacy is the art of saying `Nice doggie!`... till you can find a rock.