"West End Play" joke
A man wanted very badly to see a West End play, but it took a year to get tickets. He put in his order and waited. Finally, the big day came and he went off to the theatre. When he sat down, he saw a man in the seat in front of him, with an empty seat adjacent. In conversation, he learned that the man was a lawyer, and that he had bought the other seat for his wife, who was unable to come at the last moment. The astonished man asked the lawyer why he would let such a valuable commodity go to waste, not giving it to a friend or relative who wanted to come to the play. The lawyer replied, "Yes, several of those wanted to come, but they're all at my wife's funeral."
Lawyer: someone who makes sure that he gets what's coming to you.
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